Stressed and Lonely.

    Justin is in Kentucky right now visiting with his family. I miss him like crazy! I'm very glad he is having a good time. He doesn't get to see his friends and family every week like I do so it makes me so happy when he gets these opportunities. That being said, him being gone is really hard on me right now!! How selfish is that?! I just can't help it. I've got way too much on my plate right now, and after a full day of stress, I don't even have him to come home to. He is a champ and will listen to me vent over the phone while with his friends and family, and keeps texting me sweet little reminders to help cheer me up. Can't complain a bit about a guy like that. I just wish he was home already to help me get through all this craziness. I am so used to him being here, that when he is gone, my whole world is topsy turvy.

(Got from iwastesomuchtime.com. Looks EXACTLY like Hurlz.)

    First thing driving me insane is Hurley. I love him and everything, but I am at the point where I would much rather him just not be there. Gosh, that is so ridiculously mean. I just cannot handle him! Pregnant or not. He doesn't spend much time around me due to my work schedule, so whenever Justin goes out of town he loses his mind. The other night, the stop feature on his retractable leash broke. We were outside and that asshole ran full speed towards another dog! I tried to grab the leash and stop it, which burnt my finger so bad. He then pulled me down into the mud, and I think I bruised my bum on the curb. :/ Also, since Justin left, it's as if we just got him and he is not trained at all!!! The first night, I walked him and he did his business. Then, as I am sitting on the bed, he proceeds to pee on my nightstand. When I yell, he runs across the house. Leaving a trail from my nightstand to the living room. Also, after walking him yesterday(he did both 1&2), he crapped right in front of me. Same deal with the first incident, when I yelled, he ran and left a trail in the house. He again did the same this morning. I walked out of my bedroom to find THREE piles in different rooms...after I had JUST walked him. I just don't understand what his issue is. Trying to deal with morning sickness and clean that stuff up just leads to me throwing up. Ew.:( I hope he returns to normal when his dad comes home.

    Secondly, my job. I've grown to absolutely hate it!! I am here all the time, 6 days a week. 12 hours a day, most days. It is so hard feeling so awful, and then being here until 11 p.m. last night. Which wouldn't be so awful, except that I had to be here at 8:30 this a.m. I woke up not even feeling as if I had slept at all. I've had a migraine for 3 days. It doesn't help that I have to listen to grown men act like children all day, and my manager walking around clapping and yelling "I NEED DEALS GUY LETS MAKE SOME DEALS GUYS" all day long. No shit! We all need deals. How do you think we get paid crackhead? I almost punched him, too, yesterday. I yawned during a meeting and he told me to get some coffee and wake up. You try being preggo and working 70 hours a week!!! &Really?! You think I wouldn't be drinking coffee if I could? Wow. I was so very excited to finally have tomorrow off, so I could relax and reset. But then, of course, I am told I have to work. & Also have a meeting on my next day off. I just cannot wait to not work here anymore. It will definitely help times a million with my stress levels.

    There's also just a million other little things to stress over. Money, some family stuff, the wedding, housework. It just all seems like too much sometimes, and I've really been feeling that today. My crazy preggo hormones definitely do not help with that. I just keep thinking about how my little baby does not need to feel this stress. I am trying to take small steps towards slowly eliminating all of the stressful elements, but sometimes it just seems so hard. My steps I am taking today are to put it in writing and vent a bit(hence this blog post), that way I can get it all out without burdening poor Justin while he is in Kentucky having a good time. Followed by deep breaths. Lots of deep breaths, and just thinking about how amazing and beautiful it is that I have a little life inside of me. Breathe in deeply.. Think about my amazing little baby and how much God has blessed us.. Breathe out.

With love,

Brittany Danielle